Life’s a Battlefield
You’ve done the impossible: clawed your way out of solitude and now got friends. Great. Now stop letting your crew become a cage. Your social life and love life ain’t mutually exclusive—they just require strategy. You think a soldier stops fighting because they’ve secured one hill? Nah. They secure the next one.
Time’s a Limited Resource—Use It Like a Weapon
Your calendar ain’t a goddamn charity event. Blocking 3–4 days a week for friends? That’s a red flag, not a badge of honor. You’re not a martyr; you’re a strategist. Give up the delusion that you need to spend every waking hour with your squad. If they’re real friends, they’ll roll with you needing room to breathe. If not? You were holding their leash the whole time.
Ditch the "Friends Do Everything Together" Bullshit
Having different tribes is not betrayal—it’s survival. You don’t need a universal remote for every friendship. Some days, your queer squad’s vibe is right. Other days, you need a solo mission. That’s the plan. And yeah, you can have a dating squad, too. It’s called going where the fish are—not sitting at the shore hoping they jump into your existing pond.
Stop Chasing Ghosts—Create Your Own Storm
The false dichotomy you’re choking on? That “hope someone falls in my lap” vs “abandon my friends” nonsense? Burn it. You’re not stuck. You’re just lazy. The dating game isn’t a lottery; it’s a war game. Go to where the lesbians are—sports leagues, book clubs, volunteer gigs. It’s not a "meat market"—it’s reconnaissance.
Apps Suck, but That’s Not Your Fault
Dating apps are a grind—no two ways about it. But if you’re demi, swipe smarter, not harder. You don’t need instant chemistry from a profile photo. Want to know if someone’s your type? Meet them for 15 minutes—coffee, ice cream, whatever. If it stinks, you’re out a buck. If it works? Boom, next step. Stop overthinking and let your eyes and guts do the work.
Time’s a Tool—Not a Chain
Notifications aren’t your boss. Turn off that god-awful barking when a match writes "hey." Check the app on your schedule, not theirs. Treat it like email—not a circus you’ve gotta watch every tentacle flap in. If they can’t text back on the same planet time as you, they’re probably not compatible. And if they’re slow? You don’t owe their sloth an explanation.
Filter Like a General
Your profile ain’t a buffet. It’s a war room. Don’t say “fun-loving” and hope people know what that means. Show them. Need someone who cracks jokes about astrology? Write a caption that a stoner witch would laugh at. Give people a litmus test, and only talk to the ones who pass it. That’s not cruel—it’s efficiency.
Don’t Let Your Squad Become Your Graveyard
Friends who get defensive when you need space? They’re not friends—they’re parasites. Real allies roll with you needing to hunt. If you’re worried about hurting their feelings, tough. They’re not dying. They’re adjusting. You’re not ditching your crew. You’re expanding your kingdom. And if they vanish? They didn’t want a real friend—they wanted a doormat.
Win the Game You’re In
You’re the general of your time. You decide where the battlefields are. Stop letting fear of rejection or guilt over friendships turn you into a sitting duck. Go where the lesbians are, filter like a hawk, and date like a general. And if the rejections keep coming? That’s not you. That’s the world not knowing what it’s missing. Now get out there and win.
One More Thing: Friends Don’t Burn
Every time you let guilt stop you from moving your shit, you’re losing the war. You’ll sleep better knowing you’re living your life—not someone else’s. And if your squad collapses under the pressure? They weren’t steel to begin with. Real friends stick around when you stop being a doormat. Now go make ’em count.