Sex Isn't On The Menu – So What The Hell Happens Now?

Let Me Cut To The Chase

If you're not sweating it and they're not sweating it, there ain't no problem. But here's the rub: relationships run on oil called compatibility, and you're seeing if this one's still greased up or just smoking in the engine. You've been together five years and your sex life's drier than a moonshine still — that ain't zero, that's radio silence. So let's dissect this like a butcher breaking down prime rib.

The First Law Of Relationship Physics

There ain't no magic formula for how often you should bang. But when sex goes from 'let's light this shit up' to 'let me take a shower to forget I have limbs,' something's broken. You say you don't care anymore, like it's just another Tuesday. But here's the check-engine light: you're not broken, you just might be running on residual heat. You cursed having a sex drive when you were alone? Now you're high-fiving yourself for being free from it? Sounds like running from a fire to jump into a lake — better cool off, but you're still half-drowned.

Don't Lie To Yourself In The Rearview Mirror

You're calling it a win that you don't need to perform anymore? That tells me you were choking on the pressure. Maybe you were the one who lost confidence first — and now you're congratulating yourself for avoiding the arena altogether. But here's the truth bomb: relationships survive when both parties want the same damn thing. If you're relieved sex is out, but your partner's just shrugging through gritted teeth, you're building on sand.

Communication Isn't A Luxury — It's Your Survival Kit

They don't like talking about what turns them on? That ain't just awkward. That's a red flag painted in invisible ink. Your partner's saying they take care of their own needs and yours can't cut it? Sounds like they're either settling or you're letting them off the hook. You ever seen a married couple who stop fighting because they agreed to stop fighting? That's how good relationships go bad. Silence is not acceptance, it's a truce with a ticking clock.

If You're Not In The Arena, Don't Cheat Yourself

You think you saw through the Matrix? Great. But here's the real pill to swallow: relationships are like marriage contracts. If you're gonna write 'no sex policy' in the fine print, both signatures have to be wet. If this is your dream home with a detached garage and they're just using it for storage... you might want to check the deed again. You're both happy now? Cool. But keep your eyes peeled — happiness built on resignation is a house of cards with a breeze coming through the door.

Don't Mistake Temporary Relief For Permanent Solution

That check-engine light I told you about? It might just be gas cap loose. Or it might be the timing belt snapping. You say your partner's content but 'largely' — 'largely' isn't a warranty. If this arrangement is working for both of you like a well-crafted divorce but you're still lying awake wondering if you 'should' feel something... that voice isn't your inner child. It's your instincts screaming at you to check the rearview.

Bottom Line

If you're both drinking from the same cup of ambivalence, this might work. But if only your plate's empty while their cup's half-full? You're playing chess with one hand and checkers with the other. Don't mistake convenience for connection. Just remember: a relationship where neither party owns the problem is a relationship waiting for a crisis. And that crisis might not come with a warning label — just a goddamn wrecking ball.