Tackling the Elephant in the Room: Owning Your Sexual History

Breaking the Ice

When it comes to discussing your sexual history with potential partners, the age-old dilemma arises: how much to reveal, and when. For those who have been around the block a few times, this can be a minefield of judgment and rejection.

Your Past, Your Pride

The cold, hard truth is that your number of past partners is just that – a number. It's a data point, a blip on the radar of your life. In no way does it define your worth as a person, nor should it be a source of shame. If someone is going to make an issue of your past, then that says more about them than it does about you. They're essentially saying that you're not good enough, that you're somehow tainted by your experiences.

The Shitty People Problem

The problem here isn't your past, it's the people who can't handle it. Those who judge you, who try to shame you, or make you feel like you're somehow less of a person because of your history. You see, when you start apologizing for your past, or trying to downplay it, you're buying into the idea that it's something to be ashamed of. And let me tell you, that's a slippery slope. Once you start justifying or hiding your past, you're giving those who would seek to shame you power over you. You're letting them dictate how you should feel about yourself.

Take Back the Reins

Here's the thing: you don't owe anyone an explanation for your past. You don't have to justify it, or make excuses for it. Your past is a part of you, but it's not the entirety of you. When someone tries to shame you for your history, remember that it's a reflection of their own insecurities, not yours. You're not responsible for their discomfort; you're only responsible for being true to yourself.

Dealing with the Fallout

So how do you handle it when someone throws your past in your face? How do you deal with the fallout of their judgment? First, take a step back. Recognize that their reaction says more about them than it does about you. Then, realize that you don't have to engage with their negativity. You can choose to walk away, to not invest your time and energy into someone who's going to try to shame you for your past. Or, you can stand your ground, and make it clear that you won't be judged for your history.

Red Flags and Deal-Breakers

If someone is going to make an issue of your past, that's a red flag. It's a sign that they're not the right person for you, that they're not worthy of your time and energy. Don't waste your time trying to justify or explain your past to someone who's already made up their mind. Instead, focus on finding those who accept you for who you are, past and all.

Conclusion

Owning your sexual history is about more than just being confident in your past; it's about being true to yourself. It's about recognizing that your worth and value come from within, not from the opinions of others. So don't be afraid to stand tall, to own your history, and to reject those who would seek to shame you for it. You are more than your past; you are a strong, capable, and worthy individual, and don't let anyone make you feel otherwise.